Purchase book or read a free sample at Amazon.com.

Also available at Barnes and Noble.

It took almost 30 years of practice and a life time of thinking about psychology to crystalize in my mind just what it is that makes us tick and what makes us go astray, what messes up our lives.

Unconscious lying may well be the single, common error at the very heart of almost everything that goes wrong in our lives. There is often more than one lie being told at a time, and there may be layers of lies within a single person (and there are examples of this twisty problem in the book), but lying is the key. I really mean this. Whether the issue is anxiety, obsessive problems, depression, irrational fears, difficulty enjoying life, indecision, difficulty loving and being loved, substance abuse, domestic violence -- as aggressor or victim -- or the many relationship problems that bring people into therapy, lies seem to be a central cause. Unconscious lying derails our lives in countless ways, leaving us repeating pointless, even self-destructive habits, poisoning relationships, prolonging misery.

If you don't catch the lies, whatever else you try to change your behavior, feelings, relationships, job, diet, anything, may well fail again.

Catch the lies early, and you'll never need someone like me.

Some reviews:

"Dr. Pologe is a venerable yet amiable clinical psychologist (and excellent writer) who never talks down to readers but tells it like it is."

"I have been amazed at how good Dr. P is at putting incredibly complex and difficult material into layman terms."

"Dr. Pologe's numerous case studies help illustrate how our thinking sometimes goes awry or gets caught up on things we may not even realize. Quite thought provoking to say the least."

"This a wonderful book. It is set apart from most of its ilk by Dr. Pologe's decades of experience treating patients from all walks of life, all ages and backgrounds. His writing is clear, insightful and shows in a step-by-step progression how a person begins to unconsciously tell himself lies, both to protect himself and to gain control of situations that feel threatening, and how these lies undermine relationships, careers and simple joy in life. And while the book is logical and clear, it is also engrossing, interesting and not without humor. I recommend it highly for anyone who is interested in the human mind, for anyone who is struggling with relationships, fears, anger issues or anxiety. I especially recommend it to anyone who is in or considering going into therapy as it is a clear guide of what you should be looking for from therapy and knowing if you are with the right person and if you are actually making progress."

"Far from being some "lifestyle" guide or "self-help" book, this is a scholarly work written in plain language for ordinary readers. It's a broad, professional look at psychotherapy, what it is, when it is advisable, and when it is not, with lots of case examples. The best part, I think, is where he notes why if Freud's translator had just used the words "it" for "id," and "I" for "ego," such plain language would have made the whole field much more understandable to us ordinary folk. That's what this book does."

Purchase book or read a free sample at Amazon.com.

Also available at Barnes and Noble.